The Shulweek shmooze from Rabbi Lederman from the week of 11/23

DVAR TORAH: Dan Lechaf Zechus by Rabbi Baruch Lederman

It is easy to view people harshly and judgmentally, and to jump to false conclusions. We must always give others the benefit of the doubt, and judge others favorably even if the
"evidence" does not appear that way, as the following true story, recorded in Gemorah Shabbos 127a illustrates:

There was a man in upper Galili who traveled to southern Israel in order to work for a wealthy Jewish landowner. He contracted to work for three years, after which time he would
return to his family with his much needed earnings.

The three long years later, it was finally time to go home. The man asked his boss for his wages so that he could return home. It was erev yom kippur and he wanted to be with his
family for the joyous holiday of Succos.

"I do not have any money," the landowner gravely replied.

"I need to support my family," countered the man, "If you haven’t any money, pay me in grain."

"I do not have."

"Then pay me in land."

"I do not have."

"Pay me in cattle."

"I do not have."

"Pay me in pillows and garments."

"I do not have."

The man then put his pack on his back and sadly left. After three long lonely years, he was returning home to his poor family empty handed. This holiday which was to be one of
extreme joy, instead was to be one of extreme anxiety.

After the holiday, the landowner personally traveled to the Gallil together with three richly laden donkeys. The first donkey carried food, the second carried drink, and the third
carried spices. After they ate and drank together, the landowner handed the man his full wages for the past three years and asked him, "When I said I had no money, what did you
suspect of me?"

"I thought that perhaps a great investment came your way for a great price and you used up all your money purchasing it."

"When I told you I had no animals, what did you think?"

"I thought that you had leased them out to others and couldn’t use them for yourself."

"When I told you I had no land, what did you think?"

"I thought is was rented out to others."

"When I told you I had no produce, what did you think?"

"I thought that they had not yet been tithed"

"When I told you I had no linens, what did you think?"

"I thought that you had dedicated them all to the Bais Hamikdash."

The landowner cried out, "Everything you said is exactly what happened. Just as you judged me favorably, may G-d always judge you favorably."

Dedicated by Linda Holman in honor of her father, James Scott and in honor of her uncle's brother, Jordan Alpert, who lost his home in the San Diego fires


And the jokes:

Dispatcher: 9-1-1, what is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.

-

Dispatcher: 9-1-1, what's the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart.
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!

-

Dispatcher: 9-1-1
Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. I think I'm going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.
Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police.